so, i love this semester.
however, i am still sticking by  the fact that if you live with people that you love dearly, and always want to hang out with them, it is very difficult to get school work done!

but, i think im doing ok.

i got a 70% on my music History test.  that might sound terrible, but i am damn proud of that grade.  i studied my ass off - and passed!  
but now i realize that i need to have a different method if i want to stay above the water, and thats ok. i think i can do it.
i dont know how i did on my ed psych test yet, but i think i have at least a B.

and everything else is dandy.
except for the fact that band runs my life...and i am really enjoying a weekend without band!!!!




and...sidenote

it's true....katie has a boyfriend!!!
:-D

current mood: accomplished

soooo, scott never called me.
however, he did text in the early afternoon, and said this:
"i worked late, and then had to run a bunch of errands, and then i was tired"
so, i texted back:
"thats ok, but you should have told me so i wasn't up waiting"
and he said:
"sorry"
and i said:
"it's cool. ill see you sometime soon"

GARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

boys make me angry.

however, as i was leaving Burrito Loco, i saw him getting into his car with his mexican delivery buddy.
and so, i gave in and texted him.
and then we had a cute text conversation.
which is cool.
and i'm hoping to see him at natalies bday party  on friday.

but this situation has helped me realize how much i hate text messaging.
especially text message flirting.
because it is not the same as flirting.
so, i dont know if he is flirting, or just humoring me.

i guess ill have to find out this weekend.




in other news

one of my sisters has TB
my roommates are amazing. if you only understood the ridiculousness of us.
"jesus take the wheel" - a FANTASTIC story. and it inspired some of the art that now hangs in our living room.
oh man. i think we're all going to hell because of it.


well, im off to either finish my beer and read up on some music history, or to finish my beer and take a shower.

current mood: amused

so. school has started.

man oh man. having roommates that i love is bad. because we get distracted telling stories, making jokes, discussing things of some importance...and then we dont get our homework done, and that is just bad news bears.

however. i feel like this year is going to be amazing.  it took a couple days to get used to sharing a fridge, and a kitchen again, and to remember that i cant walk around naked anymore....although its ok if i walk around in underwear..
but the strangeness has passed, and everything is fine and dandy..with roommates anyways...

i feel like this was a lame post...but whatever.
i havnt gone to bed before 2:00 since sunday night.
and i made be delirious...
but it was surely worth it.


time for bed. now.

current mood: tired

so. camp is over.
i think i have been burned out.
having campers that wet the beds, and shit in showers has burned me out.
being told by stupid directors that i am a terrible role modal and that i shouldnt return as a counselor has burned me out.
never having more than an hour to myself has burned me out.
this was my last summer as a counselor at camp lackawanna.
but dont get me wrong,
i love the camp staff, and they are amazing, and i am on the edge of tears just thinking about them.
many good times this summer.
crazy drama.
fantastic surprises.
i loved it all.
and they are all mostly in wilkesbarre right now, and i cannot be with them.
and i cannot be in west chester with my awesome friends there.
i am forced to remain at home, and this sucks.
i love my parents. i do. and i love hanging out with them.
but my heart is aching for my camp staffers, and wcu crew.
joe spina called me while i as at the tunkhannock fair.
just to say hello, and that he was excited to see me in a week.
he could never know how happy that makes me.
richard. oh richard. i dont think he understands what kind of an effect he has on me.
i always counted on him to cheer me up somehow when camp was tough.
and now he is nowhere nearby when i just want someone to hug me, and then make me laugh.
kim is oh so far away. with girly girls. and i just need her so that we can share secrets again.

i know my parents get me most of the time, but they have never quite grasped why i would do something insane just to be with friends. 
sure, its a silly idea to drive to wilkesbarre at 10:30pm...but they dont know how badly i just want tobe surrounded by the family that was there all summer. i wont be able to see most of them, due to my lack of car.
unless one of them makes a trip to philly.
which would be nice.
bill said he might stop by on the way to temple.
richard told me he may make more trips out to philly.
and if i dont see carolyn and tyler at temple, i may be very dissappointed.

gah. this is an annoying rant, i know.
but it just happens to be whats on my mind at the moment.
i wish i could fly bac to the nature center (kim thats for you if you read this)
but seriously.
can we?

i also can't wait to see my grand big, kate, lauren, melissa, whoever else, and of course steve.
monday night cant come soon enough.

current mood: discontent

im not sure where to begin.

so, i went to camp last week.
at the beggining of the week, i realy did not want to be there as much as i thought i did.
however. it did turn out to be a great week at camp.
granted, i only had two hours off the entire week,
and i only took two showers sunday to saturday.
yeah yeah
but. i started the week with three campers.
brittany, sydney, and victoria.
this is the 3rd year ive have vic and sy, and the second for britt.
these girls were my sanity. they could never know how much they helped me out this week.
brit had to leave thursday after lunch.
my cabin and i were very sad.
but then i had two campers.
and then i got the phonecall from scott.
i wont type out this terrible news, but if you know the shortinos, you know about it.
i lost my mind. my memory is fuzzy.
moving on.
i love camp. and camp staffers are always amazing.
the newest member, rick, man does he mae me laugh.


but, through a series of events and conversations,
im letting kim earn some rent money, and i'm taking this week off.

so, saturday i went to ambers.
and we saw transformers.
it was cool.
and then joe took amber and me to this fancy restraunt called "melt"
bill was nearly $300
it was so cool.

hmmm

and now i am in west chester again.
i missed it.
i have no idea what is on the agenda for tonight, especially since i have a lack of money.
ihope plans include my grandbig and/or steve.

current mood: confused

so, you know how sometimes you want something sooo bad, and then you give up on it, and then you get it, and by then you've changed your mind?

i guess i should explain.


so, i've been complaining, and been very upset that i had to miss the first two weeks of camp due to summer classes. the first week being staff training, which made me not a full time counselor, which means i never know which weeks im going to actually work

i knew that i was deff. working MAD camp, and that was all i was promised.

thanks to being in west chester  i got to go to bars and meet steve.
i was just thinking, that if i had gone to camp, i would have only met steve on my granbigs bday.
and then i would have gone to camp 2 weeks later and never have ever really talked to him.
i was beginning to think things like "good thing i didnt go to camp!"
and i was becoming ok with the idea of not going to camp as much, and being able to hang out here in west chester.

today, i get a call from lorrie.
she asked if i could work next week.
i said yes.
my first thought wasn't "YAY! CAMP!!"
it was the first thing i said, but only my third thought.

my second thought was
"man, i can't be in west chester next week"
my first thought was
"i dont get to see steve for at least a week"


im falling too hard too fast.
this is so unlike anything i have ever done, i don't know what to do.
im freaking out man.
freaking the fuck out.

i wanted to be at camp sooooo bad only one week ago.
i would have given up anything to be there with the rest of the staff.
i would have done anything to be at that amazing place.

now. i wish there was a way i could go to camp, and still hang out with steve.
there is no way that could ever happen.

im so torn.  
omg. i would love to be at camp for the next 6 weeks. absolutely love it.
but that would mean 6 weeks away from west chester.

i don't think i like this very much.



what the hell is wrong with me!!!!
what the hell!

so, at the moment,i am getting paid to sit in my "office" and do this.

i guess this means that i need a rant.


I JUST SAW MY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!!!
:-D
soooo happy! i missed her! and she brought her friend who is going to be a horn major in the fall, and so that was cool.
i'm really glad i got to see my big. i reeeeeallly am.

ok. enough of that.


grand big and i had an awesome time last night.
first, we went to applebees. where, i ran into matt stevenson.
i swear that he is a space cadet. i honestly had a conversation with him about an hour before left, and i told him that we were going to applebees.
yet, he was still very surprised to see me there.
i swear. but it was fun to see him.
annnyways.
kelly (my grandbig) and i had a run of coincidences.
first, i was a bout to get into the shower while i waited for her to get back from class, and then she texts me and says she needs to get a shower before we went out. not a big deal, just funny,
but then, as i was typing up my away message and getting ready to go to her apartment, she sends a message and said she was ready to go. also not a big deal.
then, we order the same dinner.
ok, so, it's really not that funny, but it made us laugh,.
and then she told me i had to "work it"
we'll see who has to "work it"

so, then we called up our friends Pat and steve,
we met them at Spence...an awesome bar.
and it was reggae night. it made it that much better.
those two boys are so ridiculous. they just played off of eachother non-stop
it was very fun. i like hanging out with them. one of them in particular.

i hope they come out tonight too.
kevin v. is supposed to be coming down tonight.
im very excited about this
but at the same time, i dont want a certain greek to get the wrong idea about kevin and me.
because i swear, we've been there, done that, and it won't ever work.
i hope tonight wont be awkward.
it wont be.
i just have to "work it"



gah. where is dr. v? he was supposed to come back this morning and tell me what to do. but, yet, here i am. with nothing to do.
watch, he'll come back when i have 2 min left on the clock.




i'm really glad i got to see my big today<3

current mood: chipper

so. i just got back like 30 min ago.
my cousin kevin had his engagement party today, because he and his fiance are getting married in austrlia (because thats where shes from) and so most of the family cant be there. but it was cool getting to the mehorther side of the family again.  aunts, uncles, and especially cousins.  
4 of my younger cousins were there.  and the youngest of them, robert, has grown so much since i saw him in january! the oldest one, sam....hes going into 6th grade now. thats just insane! i remember when he was a fat baby with crazy red hair? now, he's a skinny geeeky red-haired 6th grader?
kids grow up too fast.
one of my fav. cousins was there too-Ben. he just graduated from high school...but he lives in florida, so i never get to see him. it makes me a little sad.  
he's changed so much since the last time that i saw him 2 years ago.  he's lost a considerable amount of weight, and he's one of those people who actually work out..i think he said he runs everyday (i'll stick to walking thanks)
he's also on this diet, where he eats carbs every two hours to keep his metabolism up...its crazy!
he looks damn good too. man. if only i could pull something like that off!
it was nice to see him. i want to go down to florida now just to visit.
i think ive decided to try to remember to go down there for his 21st bday.  i'll be graduated from college by then, so, hopefullty i can...i just have to hope it's not during the school year.


oh rants.



basically. it was nice to see family i havnt seen in a while.

current mood: tired

this was a post from the other night that i exiited by accident the other night...and apparently i can restore it...,

hellooooooooooooooooooooooo rant.

from the time i turned on the tv, at 9, so many things have gone through my mind.


one.

i feel like crying all the time. ok, not all the time. it comes in swings....i suppose you would call it mood swings.  im not unhappy with life...ill just see something on tv, anything..could be happy, could be sad, could be cute..whatever, if it triggers an emotion, i feel like crying, and will often tear up.  im watching "America's Got Talent"...and anytime someone does really well, or says something touching, i feel like crying.  and have several times. like right now...i dunno. i know i just got over my period...but i don't usually have 'AMS'...so, thats out.   im not pregnant...maybe im overexhausted and i just don't know it. it's so bizzarre. 

two.

i've been pestering my dad to keep checking on my loan check. it came in the mail, and he deposited it on saturday.  so i was counting on it being processed today, so that dad could deposit it into my account, and then i could pay my rent and get food tomorrow.  however, apparently this check needed my signature, and so now it is being sent ack to my dad for me to sign.  did i mention i have only enough food for the next two days? and that if i dont pay my rent by the end of the week, i could be evicted? yeah.  I'm hoping to get that $260 check i was supposed to get 4 weeks ago..supposedly its coming this week. one can only hope.  forget the bar, i just want a lunch that doesnt consist of crackers and juice. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

three.  

America's got talent.  yes it does. but i do not get this show.  there are some acts that they let in that obviously have no chance in winning.  i suppose there is still another elimination round, and then the real compitition starts..but, what about the acts that are talented, and the judges just decide that they don't like it.? such as these twins playing weird looking violins.  I agree, it was a rather obnoxious sound.  but if they had looked beyond that, and seen the technical side...they were pretty talented. oh well.  hopefully the winner will actually be talented. i reeeeally hope so.

four.

Obesity.  and the war against it.  in schools.  somehow, although a different situation, will become a similar one.  a good idea that turns bad and looses its original goal.  NCLB was meant to help less privilaged children in school.  it was supposed to help them succeed.  in the end, it just made it  more difficult, not to mention took away from extrcurricular activities...like band.  this war on obesity is noble.  maybe if you teach the obese children how not to be obese, and loose weight, and in the end, be healthy.  however, this is what i envision happening:  since they have started this new thing of putting the childs weight on their report card, it will increase the idea that they are fat.  even students that are only built bigger, but not fat.  this image of a skinny body will make students try to loose weight in all of the classy ways...you know what i mean.  eating disorders, pills, etc.  
in my opinion, they should have a specific health class, like sex-ed, designed to teach students how to be healthy.  and then allow them to make their own choices.  i dunno if this rant makes sense. but, it is just a rant.

five.

i've been talking to kevin a lot in the past week.  kevin from camp.  i miss him.  he and i have such a good connection.  he just gets things that other people don't.  he's so artistic and so expressive, and yet doesn't expect or care that not everyone is like that.  i miss our camp talks. his craziness.  he's been such a good outlet this past week.  i just keep talking to him, and he keeps talking back. this rant sounds stupid.  but i felt like writing about it anyways.

six.

i think i have figured out my problem with relationships.  it should have been obvious, but alas, i am a romantic. i do not want a commitment.  I seem to attract, and be attracted to guys who are just naturally the commitment type. not even a serious commitment....i also discovered my best relationship with a guy is with someone whom i have no emotional attatchments to other than friendship.  


end rants

so, as i predicted, my planned-out amazing 21st birthday weekend did not go as planned. yet, it was still amazing. 
i am 21 years old.


THURSDAY:
the grand-big and i made the trip out to ocean city, nj and found a nice secluded spot on the beach.  we stripped the shirts and shorts/jeans, lathered up, and relaxed.  only a few old men watched, and that was fine by us.  sure, as the day progressed, silly obnoxious play-girl wannabes showed up, but it was more or less for our amusement.  
after 4 hours of laying on the beach, we decided to pack up, get some custard, and make the trip back to w.c.
oh, did i mention that we both got killer full body sun burns? oh, cuz we did.
i could barely move when i got to my apartment.  i took a lot of pills so that i could maybe sleep. 
still, it was a delightful day at the beach with my favorite grand big!

FRIDAY:
i woke up. couldn't move, and i felt sick.
so i did not go to work early.
in fact, after peeling myself out of bed, and taking more pain killers, i went to work late.
i finished in 2 hours. and dr. v wasn't there, so, i got to leave early.
amber came- YAY!- i think around 4ish.  i took her to burrito loco. and then i think we just came back to the apartment, and then left again
to go see PIRATES!!!!
sooooooo good! there were some silly, unneeded parts, but it was goooooood!
and then we crashed for the night-after i took some more pills.

SATURDAY:
after sleeping in, we got dressed, and went to the Exton Mall, where we spent an entire aftenoon looking for bar outfits.
it took a long time, but we both had sucess in finding hott outfits!
after our looooooong shopping day, we came back to the apartment and enjoyed a movie, dinner, and some tasty drinks!

SUNDAY:
well, let me just say that amber and i were very lethargic for most of the day.
we got up early, but, we just moved slowly.
we watched the monk marathon. amazing stuff there.
made a trip to gay st. so i could show amber a little bit of the town.
came back and watched some more of that monk marathon.
when we both realized we wanted cake and dinner.
so we picked up some cake mix and frozen pizza.
then of course we made it, and then ate it!
my grand big decided to come over and chill while amber and i got ready to go out.
chase called, and said he was coming down, but needed to crash on the couch. AWESOME!
so, amber, kelly and i went to kelly's apt to go do hair.
and jaqi, ralph, and kate were there. and we shared our cake with them.
chase showed up-YAY!
then joe fisher called and said he was on his way - YAY!
so, after a shot of blue-raspberry vodka, and tequila(courtesy of kate), off we went to the bars!

amber, chase, joe, kate, scott lapinski? and i
began the evening at 15 north, where we discovered Mandy and Martha! yay!
did i mention they didnt card us?
mandy bought me a shot (mind you, i still had an hour left before i turned 21)
a red headed slut.
this shot was followed by many drinks-bought of course by other people!
YAY I TURNED 21!!!
we left 15N, and went to Ryans.
where the guy had to double checkmy id cuz he wasnt sure if it was the 28th or not-HA!
then we left and went to kildaires.
where we danced. and drank some more.
pretty sure chase bought me a guiness.
and we danced some more.
and at 2, we were forced to return to the apartment.

After kate left, it was just amber, chase and i.
and i think we had fun. my memory is a little fuzzy.
i remember walking to go to bed. and thats it.
apparently i fell asleep realy fast.
and apparently there were 3 people in my bed.



MONDAY:
woke up. slightly hung over, but not too bad.
chase left. and then amber and i just sorta layed around and watched the that 70s show marathon.
amber, of course always having her wonderful acid reflux issues, was feeling gross and decided to take a nap.
i cleaned, and did whatever.
and then KAT came and visited!
and then my parents and brother showed up! YAY!
after small talk, my family, amber and i went to kildaires.
where we ate until we couldnt eat anymore.

and then. here's the best part of my birthday - aside from amber being there 
my brother and step-mom bought me a shot.
mike bought me something with 'firey' in the name, i dunno, but it had hot sauce in it.
it was disgusting.
but ok.  HERES the best part.
my step-mom got me a blow job.
yeah. talk about weeeeeird. in front of my DAD
i couldnt do it...alone....so i made erin take one with me.
omg. i did a blow job with my step mom.
AMAZING!!!!!



ahhhhh.
what a night.
what a birthday.
what an amazing 21st.







sorry if you didnt want to read all of that.

current mood: drunk

so, i realized that i have not put a single picture up of my sisters. im going to have to fix this.

here are some picts of my pledge class..some include our mama meg, and Bigs..

(this is the day we became sisters!)

some pictures of my family...

me, Big, Grand Big, and Great Grand Big


a drunk pict with my Big on the right, and Great Grand Big on the Left!


another one...


just me and my Big!


this is the 'adopted' family, doing a fantastic rendition of "row row row your boat"


group photos of the sisters:

the day we did the fashion show at Deb!




Relay For Life!


some fun picts! WARNING: some might include Phi Mu Alpha boys!


Twister at our initiation party


mat holly and i starting our new tradition of massages at the last H party...


The Crimson Tide....something you can only experience







guest appearance by Joe Fisher?


moving on...


Whitney and Hinchcliff...oh how i loooooove them!


2 of the future roomates...


meg and her fireman<3


we get to share a bathroom!!!


me and some kid.....


kevin turned out to be a real jerk ;)


the best of the horn studio! Matt, Brittany, Chase (the only one NOT in PMA/SAI), Lauren, Me, Joey



hinchcliff being sober, and me not so much...funny how that changed


bonding with my favoritist PMA brother that is NOT transferring!


this kid, is a genius.


fun with christine and whitney!



giving rachel some damn good sisterly love!


BIG AND ME!!!


one last sister shot<3

current mood: chipper